


Baby Steps

by TheMedJack



Series: Take Two AU [1]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, And we love to see it!!!, Closeted Character, Coming Out, Eddie's feelings are unknown, Fix-It, Leia Kaspbrak Tozier, M/M, POV Richie Tozier, Post-IT Chapter Two (2019), Rated teen for language, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Take Two AU, You know what that is??? GROWTH!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:35:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26275768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMedJack/pseuds/TheMedJack
Summary: After reaching a new goal in his therapy sessions, Richie takes initiative and decides it's time to come out to someone very important to him.[A short scene from Take Two smau on Twitter, taking place during update 272.]
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Series: Take Two AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1920739
Comments: 12
Kudos: 112





	Baby Steps

**Author's Note:**

> WHEW it feels so good to be back!! This is a short scene that takes place during update 272 of my smau on twitter (Take Two AU // @beepbeepjess), but it can also be read as a standalone. I'm SO beyond excited to start adding prose elements to this story and I really hope you all enjoy it!! It's also my first time ever writing in present-tense, so let's hope I didn't fuck it up too much 🤪
> 
> Happy reading, loves! 🐶❤

****

**Are you going to bed soon?**

**yeah, in a few minutes**

**Me too. Goodnight, Richie. 🐶❤️  
**

**goodnight spagheds 🐶❤️**

A heavy exhale falls from Richie’s parted lips as he lets his phone slide from his open palm onto the mess of blankets beside him. The device lands face-up, casting the overly-bright gleam of Eddie’s texts against the unkempt and ruffled sheets. Its light appears unnatural against the lamp beside the bed and its dull golden glow. Together, they mar the shadows that swallow the room into night.

Richie waits, as he always does, for the screen of his phone to slowly fade to a darkened mode and eventually to the full blackness of sleep. He greets the steady silence that follows like a friend he’s known forever. Its presence is that of an unsettling comfort, a constant clash between his thoughts that linger and those that race too quickly. It’s never too long of a long fight, however, for the same notion scales its way to the forefront of his mind every night with near-perfect precision. 

Richie should tell him. 

Eddie deserves to know. Richie could feel that same anxious itch urging him to say the words every time Eddie held his gaze for one second too long, or gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze before letting his hand gradually slip away. The trust Eddie displays in him through actions quieter than spoken words is both steady and apparent, which only fuels the unease in Richie’s heart. 

There were days when he came so damn close to uttering the words aloud. Times when he sank into the couch and screamed the same confession as loudly as he could inside his head. Nonetheless, every attempt led to the same dismal end. Richie, eyes trained on Eddie, his words nothing more than a shaky breath against his lips as Eddie sat beside him in oblivious silence. 

But Richie wants to be ready. 

He can feel the dull stir of confidence deep within him, its presence growing more resolute with every hushed confession from behind locked doors or in front of bathroom mirrors. It was difficult at first, hearing his own voice and seeing his reflection as he recited a once-forbidden phrase with an ever-growing purpose. The intensity of Richie’s own apprehensive stare far outweighed that of anyone else’s, but spotting the gleam of crippling fear in his eyes was what initially drove the message home. One that encompassed the words of a text from Eddie, a notion that Richie caringly etched onto his heart between its frantic yet steady thrums. 

****

**All I wanted was for you to see the person I see in you, Rich. Someone who deserves to receive just as much love as he gives. And then some.**

Richie can remember the nervous rush that coursed through him when he first read the text, its words sparking a newfound sense of self-worth deep in his chest. Perhaps one strong enough to finally rid his mind of the weeds once planted by an unwelcome being. A chance to triumph over his fear of expressing both verbal and physical affection with those closest to him, and to let his guilt slip away like nothing more than loose sand between his fingers. 

Things feel better now than they ever had before, and perhaps it’s because Eddie was right. Maybe Richie really does deserve more than what he lets himself have. Maybe he can finally be brave enough to reach out for it and open himself up to the love he so desperately longs to embrace. 

It all began with a whisper. 

A hushed voice in a locked room drowned by a blue midnight. 

_I am gay._

When Richie breathed the words aloud, a terrifying thrill pulsed through his stomach and left his body feeling charged. He sensed a growing fear stir within him moments later, but he conjured the strength to settle it once he pictured Eddie speaking those words to him again. On Richie’s second attempt, the phrase fell from his mouth with greater ease, though his heart still raced in his chest as he impulsively clenched and unclenched his hands into fists. 

_I am gay._

Hours turned to days, and days to weeks. All the while, Richie kept a silent but watchful eye on his growing checklist from therapy. He was against the idea of such a task at first, but that worry quickly vanished upon recalling Eddie’s face when he first learned of Richie’s therapy sessions. An expression of such overwhelming pride and admiration that it nearly moved Richie to tears, only to be followed by a comforting smile from Eddie as they tightly embraced. 

And with that memory prominent in his thoughts, Richie pushed onwards. If not for himself, then for Eddie. 

He said the words in the car, music blasting to help drown out the phrase until Richie finally reached the volume of a near-shout. The shower provided the same comfort but to a smaller extent, the patter of water on tile partially flushing out his quiet confessions. A heavy silence enveloped the kitchen during his next attempt, however. The sound of Richie’s own voice was so clear and compact against the void that he found himself crumpling to the floor, knees drawn tightly against his chest as the world seemed to cave in around him. He couldn’t even bring himself to move until the muffled, echoing cling of Eddie’s keys could be heard from down the hall as he arrived home. 

Then came the moment that gave Richie the flicker of hope he’d started to lose. The night with a series of texts that allowed for a briefest moment of vulnerability. 

****

**What’s going on, Rich?**

**i guess im just more nervous than i am excited**

**...Do you want to talk about it?**  


**yes**

Eddie was there at Richie’s side from the moment he moved in, arms open with hands wielding the gauze to wrap and tend to Richie’s wounds. All Richie had to do was tell Eddie where it hurt. After days of resistance, Richie hesitantly decided to follow the advice provided by his therapist.

_Talk to him. Open yourself up to him. It could be about anything you want so long as you’re trying to communicate what you’re feeling._

Richie followed those instructions with great care, and doing so gave him the most intense surge of relief he’d ever felt. It was never Richie’s trust in Eddie that faltered, but his own fear of being rejected by those he loved which restrained him. It was this night that the quiet of the room suddenly felt so loud it pierced his ears and mind with a relentless sting. Something felt different, and Richie couldn’t pinpoint the source until another rush of adrenaline struck him directly in the chest as he repeated the same phrase of words again. It was almost as if he’d grown the sudden desire to speak again, if only to seek out that same excited flutter in his heart once more. 

Maybe, after all of this fucking time, Richie’s desperate wish to be fully honest with Eddie is making itself known against the pooling dread seeded in his heart from a lifetime of fear. 

Maybe this time, Richie would finally be able to-

A shrill yelp sounds from beside the bed, the high-pitched cry startling Richie back to reality. Blinking, though it does little to help him see through the dull light of the room, Richie clambers over to the side of the bed and cranes a worried eye over its edge. 

He’s greeted by the sight of Leia from inside her cage, her figure stretched out on its side as all four paws twitch in unison. Frown growing on his face, Richie slowly reaches down and swings open the small door on top of the cage. He uses a single hand to scoop the puppy up with ease as he carefully maneuvers her through the opening. Sinking back against the covers of the bed, Richie moves to anchor his free hand behind his head before settling Leia atop his chest. Eddie was right, she’s so warm despite her small size. 

“Hey, sweet girl,” Richie coos in a kind voice, stretching out an index finger to gingerly stroke the hair on Leia’s head. “You dreamin’?” 

Leia’s sleeping form responds with another small yelp and a twitch of her paws. A cry escapes her mouth, quick and sharp, before a series of muffled whimpers fills the room. By the time Richie decides to wake her, the puppy is already awake and upright. Her eyes frantically dart around the darkened room as if in search of something. Richie stares back, eyes wide with concern, as his heavy breaths cause Leia to shift up and down where she lays on his chest. When her gaze finally meets his, she shivers. 

“Oh no, sweetheart,” Richie whispers sadly as he continues the slow motion of his finger around the sides and beneath Leia’s head, “Bad dreams?” 

Leia blinks tiredly, staring back at Richie as she starts to visibly relax under his caring touch. Her eyes glisten under the dim glow of the lamp, the light on her fur a warm golden brown. Despite the apparent warmth of the room, however, there’s a slight chill in the air. It elicits another small shiver from Leia. Richie pauses to cover both himself and the puppy with his sheets before resuming some soothing pets. 

“Both of your dads get bad dreams too, sometimes. But we’ll be right here when you get them, lil’ Leia, we’ll take such good care of you,” Richie reassures her, watching with an admirable fascination as Leia stares at him intently. It’s almost like she’s genuinely listening to what he has to say. 

Leia opens her mouth as wide as it can go, yawning with a high-pitched squeak that draws a warm chuckle out of Richie. His smile slowly fades from his lips, however, as he suddenly hears the faint chant of Eddie’s messages in the back of his mind. He can hear the familiar words and embraces them with a bittersweet sting. 

“I know we haven’t had you for long, but I love you so much, baby girl,” Richie whispers as he moves to gently stroke the fur behind Leia’s neck with both hands. Leia exhales a heavy sigh of content, her eyes fluttering shut when Richie scratches just the right spot behind her ears. “You’re so fucking loved, Leia. I want us to give you the best life we possibly can. I’d give you everything that I have if it made you happy.” 

_Don’t you know how it feels to see you like this? To sit beside you and give you everything I have only to have you refuse it?!_

Richie flinches at the memory of Eddie’s words, ones from the night they argued in silence beneath a shrouded moon. When Richie speaks again, his voice is still just as gentle as it was moments prior, despite the anxious flutter currently racing down his spine. “I’ll always protect you, sweetheart. I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

_It really fucking hurts, Rich._

“We’ll always be here to take care of you, Leia. I’ll give you whatever you need to grow up to be the strong, brave, and tiny girl I know you’ll be,” Richie smiles widely. Leia perks up again, now out of her sleepy trance as she directs her full attention back towards Richie. 

_You know that I want to help you, right? That I fucking care about you?!_

“But to do that, I think I need to be honest with you, sweetie,” Richie continues with a growing apprehension. A few moments pass before Leia replies with another squeak of a yawn. 

_Richie why did you lie to me._

“Can I tell you something?” Richie asks quietly, pausing as if he expects Leia to offer a clear response in return. 

Leia stares back, absorbed, cocking her head from one side to the other. It’s like she knows he has more to say and is waiting patiently for him to finish. 

“I’m, uh,” Richie blinks, throat tightening in fear as the rest of his words got caught in the fray of his thoughts, “Sweetheart....you should know that I-“ 

Just say it. 

Don’t overthink it like you did all those other times before. 

Just fucking say it, Tozier.

“-I’m gay, Leia.” 

Stomach twisting, heart catching in his throat, Richie clenches his chest inwards until he can barely breathe. He stares in heavy silence, his eyes once again locked with the puppy’s as he tries to conjure the strength to speak again. Blackness swirls at the edge’s of Richie’s vision, the world around him suddenly growing faint and distant. Richie lays his head back at the abrupt sensation, embracing the dizziness that would surely lull him to sleep.

_i was scared_

A subtle movement against his shirt, however, pulls Richie back towards his conscious state of mind. Glancing downwards, Richie is met with the sight Leia, now standing up with her paws firmly planted atop his chest.

_im sorry_

When Richie meets her gaze once more, Leia energetically shimmies her small weight between her paws in a jerky dance. She looks absolutely ridiculous, the wholesome gesture cute enough to coerce a very hesitant smile out of Richie. “Hi, Leia,” Richie playfully coos in a voice so quiet he can barely hear it himself, “Hi, sweet girl.”

Upon hearing the delicate and soothing sound of Richie’s voice, Leia happily jumps where she stands as her wagging tail gradually picks up in speed. The reaction draws an even larger smile out of Richie, who’s now watching the puppy dance excitedly across his chest in apprehensive awe. His next words lack even more strength than the last, the sound barely reaching the form of Leia happily shaking her hips back-and-forth. “Do you still love me, baby girl?” 

Upon spotting Richie’s disbelieving smile, Leia tumbles forwards until she’s standing just beneath the man’s chin. She stretches her neck to lean forwards and sniffs around the bottom of Richie’s face. A choked giggle falls from Richie’s mouth when the puppy’s wet nose drags along a part of his jaw. The pleasant sound pulls Leia’s attention back to Richie, who meets her eyes with a stunned and elated gasp. 

The way Leia looks at him now is no different than how she had before Richie confessed to her. Of course, she has no way to sense the heavy weight of Richie’s words, but that didn’t matter right now, not to Richie.

Leia still has that same golden glow in her eyes, a glistening shine that only grows more vibrant as she continues to dance around. She stares at Richie intently, head cocked to the side and ears perked to get a better listen. She still can’t control the pit-pats of her tiny feet against his chest whenever she hears his deep yet comforting voice, her tiny tongue flapping and tail flying as she gleefully pants back at him. 

_The whole point of a team is to work together._

The longer Richie gazes upon Leia, the more he understands that he could confess whatever the fuck he wants to her and it would make no difference at all. That isn’t what matters to Leia in the slightest. 

_You need to understand that if you trip and fall, you bring the whole team down with you._

Leia always responds the same way to Richie’s affectionate gestures and warm words, confession or not. All that matters to her is that he provides the care and support she needs to feel safe, and that he’s always there to let her give that same love back.

_But that’s okay because it also means we’ll be there to help each other back up._

The notion exudes a sense of comfort that Richie has never felt before this moment, and it’s exhilarating. 

That’s really all there is to it, huh? 

“Oh, sweetie,” Richie exhales with a laugh, his smile growing even wider as his realization strikes him. He reaches up, gently running the tips of his fingers along either side of Leia’s playful face, “I love you too, sweetheart, thank you for letting me love you.” 

Richie doesn’t notice the tears streaming down his face until a gentle gust of cool air drifts down from the open vent above. He shivers at the sudden chill, his elated smile unwavering as he runs his fingers up and down Leia’s soft fur. “I love you,” Richie repeats over and over again as if he can’t ever say it enough. His eyes never break from Leia’s as she happily shimmies under his delicate touch. “I love you so damn much, lil’ Leia. And you love me back, right sweetie?”

_im srry eds_

Leia stops abruptly under Richie’s hands, once again sniffing at the air in front of her. Something must’ve caught her attention, because seconds later she is quickly scaling Richie’s chest and neck to reach his face. Richie sits unmoving beneath Leia’s light weight, too worried he’ll scare her if he tries shifting against the bed. He remains still as Leia tugs herself up until she’s standing partially on top of Richie's amused face.

_eddie dont cry_

“Whatcha doin’ there, stinker?” Richie sniffs, squinting to try and see Leia’s form through the steady flow of tears still streaking across his cheeks. The question becomes partially muffled when Leia shifts a bit so that one of her paws lands directly over Richie’s lips. Leaning down, Leia hesitantly sniffs above Richie’s nose again before swiping her tongue across his left cheek.

_fuck eds please dont cry_

Leia repeats the motion again, Richie now squirming under her a bit as the sensation of her tongue tickled his face. He abruptly stops, however, upon realizing she’s licking away the tears from his flushed cheeks.

_please stop crying im so sorry_

“Oh yeah? Well I love you more!” Richie laughs as Leia attacks his face with a series of quick kisses. Richie’s thrilled energy seems to spread to Leia within seconds, her already-squirming form now fully on top of Richie and shaking faster than a leaf in a strong wind.

Maybe he really is ready, or as ready as he’ll ever be.

“Thank you for loving me, sweetheart,” Richie whispers gratefully as he gently smothers the puppy with his face in a warm embrace. More tears fall as Richie holds Leia close, his voice cracking and composure faltering when he speaks again. “...Thank you so much for loving me back.” 

Maybe this time, Richie will finally be able to say the fucking words to him aloud. 

“I love you with all of my heart, Leia.”


End file.
